Are We Forgetting What Friendship Really Means?

Sometimes, we expect too much from relationships. “They should care about me. They should understand me. They should always be there for me.” But if a relationship is only about what we expect to receive, is it really friendship—or simply a relationship built around our own comfort? True friendship is also about giving. It means being there when someone is struggling, understanding their mistakes, forgiving them, and making small compromises when necessary. Perhaps one big difference between relationships in the 80s and 90s and those of today is patience. People had disagreements and misunderstandings even then. But they were often more willing to forgive, adjust and work things out. There was more of a “we” than a “me.” Today, individuality, boundaries and personal peace are rightly valued. And yes, we should walk away from relationships that are genuinely toxic or harmful. But not every disagreement is toxicity. Not every mistake is disrespect. Not every difficult phase means a relationship should end. Sometimes, people simply need a conversation, a little patience and another chance. We have become very aware of what we deserve from others. But perhaps we should also ask ourselves what others deserve from us. If we expect care, can we give care? If we expect understanding, can we understand? If we expect forgiveness, can we forgive? A relationship cannot survive if one person is always giving and the other is always expecting. Maybe what we need today is not to go back to the past, but to find a balance—to have boundaries without losing compassion, self-respect without losing understanding, and personal peace without giving up on people too easily. Because in the end, good relationships are not built by finding perfect people. They are built by imperfect people who are willing to understand, forgive and make an effort for each other. And perhaps the most important question is not: “Are they giving me enough?” but: “Am I giving them enough?”